Okay, so the past four days have been busy, busy, busy. One of the reasons for this is that the introduction and basic training is in a city that is at a 2 hours traveling distance … according to the public transportation travel information. 😐 So it’s 2,5 hours in real life, which means 5 hours traveling per day in total. Oh, plus I’m stubborn, I don’t want to stay at a hotel, I want to be at home in the evenings. This means that some evenings, I was home between half past seven and half past eight. Last Tuesday I was home at 5PM though and today I was home at half past three because I could skip a training that I’d already done with the talent pool a couple of weeks ago. Also, today I found out that one of my colleagues lives near me and travels to the training location by car. If he’s willing to make a detour of a few hundred meters, I may be able to join him and this may save me up to an hour of traveling time 😀
For me, so far I don’t find the introduction that interesting. The information density of the first three days was far too low for me, it could have been done in less than one and a half day (this is also because I have read all twenty documents making up the “working conditions”, while almost all presentations of the first three days repeated parts of these documents). It was useful to see faces, meet people and get an impression of the company, of course.
Yesterday was our first real training, which was a CV training and this morning we had a presentation about security, in which they tried to explain things like SQL injection to an audience that doesn’t know what SQL is and has little or no background in IT (Save for two or three people, myself including). Meh… I already contacted my unit manager to express this feeling and to ask if he can put a better light on the trip abroad. If the information density stays this low, I don’t see why I have to go away from home for three weeks… Working in groups is different of course, but I don’t see why it has to be abroad, it could be a hotel in The Netherlands during weekdays and at home in weekends if they must 😛 And when I need to study stuff? Just give me a book and I’ll work through it on my own and still have at least three days to spare…
You can interpret this anyway you like – whether you read that I’m impatient or a fast learner, that I am unmotivated or have high expectations, that I am inflexible or that I know my own needs very well, you can probably project any of that on the above – but it’s my blog and I’ll write what I feel! 😛
Something funny during the meeting today: When the presenters started talking about SQL injection, I mumbled “drop table students” and they both immediately looked up, smiled, and one of them said: “XKCD, right?” Hahaha (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re not a nerd 😉 I was referring to the following comic: xkcd: Exploits of a Mom)
Anyway, I know myself pretty well and I know that I will have more challenges to face than just the course abroad; what I’m not looking forward to is the fact that we won’t have a single bedroom and therefore even less opportunities than I have now to withdraw to my private space. Also I won’t bring my guitar and I like to sing when I’m alone. Of course, there is the possibility that this is exactly what they want to find out: They put you in an unfamiliar environment and see how you respond. I’ll be fine, I’m sure, but I don’t have to like it 😛
As for my one free day starting June, I’m gonna choose Wednesday; I found out that a fellow colleague also chose this day so there’s no need to doubt about whether this is inconvenient for the company. She can do it, so I figure I can too. This will give me the time I need to process new impressions that cross my path and do some manual information filtering – did you know I always have exactly one A4-size piece of paper that lists ‘stuff to do or remember’? It helps me organize and prioritize 🙂 .
I need time to do things like that, time I didn’t have until today, and I was really starting to feel it. For those who know me, you know what I’m like when I’m in that stuck-up, stressed, “OMG I’m busy”-mode. I don’t have a lot of fun when I’m in that mindset. It’s taken me all my energy to stay out of it, but it went well. I did some silly and/or stupid things of course, including making a remark in front of the board of directors that, on hindsight, could be interpreted in a sexual way, which I didn’t realize until I’d said and then it was too late and all I could do was go red and shout “No, I didn’t mean it that way!” … D’oh. Well, maybe I’ll just have to accept that I’m a bit silly and surprise and/or shock myself and others every now and then 😉 It takes some inner work, but this is one of the first times that I don’t mind that I did something that backfired. 😀
So far, it’s going quite well 🙂 I’ve got a lot of new impressions to filter, but I’m working on it and making the right choices, which give me enough space to process what’s going on around me.
Like last night, I went to bed early and had this dream where Sander and I owned a white mansion[ref]Actually, I’m pretty sure it was based on Lennert’s house.[/ref] with a big, green garden and we were busy moving to a new house and everything was stressful: Sander had only packed the ‘clean’ stuff, and there was still a mess in the garden and kitchen (kitchen of my previous student house, on hindsight 😉 ) and I ran about to clean up: I found rotten .. um.. worstebroodjes on the ground[ref]Lauran visited me a few weeks ago and discovered that we had a stack of worstebroodjes, the bottom pack was opened and white/greenish ;)[/ref] and other food remains, and old flower pots and behind a wooden table a passport of a friend of Sander[ref]Well, in my dream he was a friend of Sander, but in real life he’s an old friend of Jan (Bart) who I met at the train station two weeks ago when I went to the thermen with Elske.[/ref] who left it there after the barbecue that we’d had according to my dream-me. I ran around and it turned out I had three cats and at some point four[ref]Incarnations of my guilt for not having been able to give Ettie a lot of attention the past few days :([/ref], one of them called Skittles because of a pattern on his back[ref]Well, he was white with red spots and should have been called Scatterplot, but it’s dream logic, so don’t ask ;)[/ref] and I had to clean the mantelpiece, etcetera… To make a vague story more vague: it felt like I was cleaning up a lot of mental junk last night and even though the alarm clock made me jump up when it went off, I felt pretty refreshed 🙂
This was messy, but you guys are lucky: this is a cleaned-up and revised version of what goes on in my brain, I get the unedited version 😉
Always behave like a duck: Stay calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath.
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